Ephesians 5:22-24 talks about submission, okay I know what you are thinking that I am going to start talking about authority, who is the head of your home and whatever you have heard about submission. I will one day :-), though for today I want to share about that verse in regard to personal time with the Lord and how the Lord ministered that to me.
My marriage has been on transition every day, something my close friend and I agrees on since she also got married last year. Nevertheless I realise that I had it all twisted when I said I do, I had a perfect picture frame of us. We would solve our issues before the sun sets, I was always going to be a home maker(baker, cook, cleaner and interior designer), he was always going to be my shoulder to lean on even as I am his and every evening as he steps home dinner would be ready unless we are eating out. That is how I thought it would be until I got married and none of it added up.
I am not saying I am sad or I am having the most unbearable time of my life however, I am learning that we(ladies) a times build some tall castles that hinder us from enjoying marriage. We have to understand that unless we are purposing and pursuing God to teach us to be a home maker now (even as you are single) even when you are married you will struggle. So to all those on the road, if you have a picture of your perfect home, perfect wife story please hear it from me, it will frustrate you. I call it the Proverbs 31 syndrome.
.………………………….Wives, Submit unto your own husband, as unto the Lord
I was feeling a little overwhelmed some time back and i felt I was lonely. Like too much stuff was going on and there was less time for me in it all, so I got all gloomy and unbearable just to put the point across to my husband. Even as we talked it out and settled the issue I felt the Lord asking me about my relationship with Him.
Here I want the Lord to be the centre of our marriage, I want Him to help me solve all our marriage issues yet I never put that much effect in my relationship with Him. Earlier in my marriage whenever we had a misunderstanding I would think it’s because I am not praying enough for my marriage. Like I wasn’t giving it all the attention in prayer that it required, so I got to pray about it like no one’s business and when we didn’t disagree for a while I would credit it to my powerful prayer dedication.
It’s okay to pray; actually we should pray for our marriage daily however it goes deeper than altering ‘holy’ words to the Lord. Ephesians 5:22 requires us to submit to our husband as unto the Lord, what it actually means is this ‘you don’t submit to God and His plan for your life as your authority, best friend, even to your husband or to your boss you will do none of that’.
Submission carries respect, humility and grace, and the Lord is actually saying ‘Child you want to be the Submissive wife? Then please submit to me first, you want to know how to be successful then lets first have a successful relationship, you want to go and spread the gospel please know me first, you want to love that man please love me first cause I created him I know him more than you think‘.
Our struggle usually begins here beacause we learn scripture to make ourselves feel better or worse we feel we are doing God a favor. Like we are gaining Bonga points with Him but its far more than that, someone once told me this ‘God is not a needy God, so don’t think when you don’t spend time with Him He decreases in His glory, its actually the opposite’.
I have heard this so many times among singles ‘I want the one God has destined for me‘ my question is are you the even aware that before the one you claim you want was born there is One that existed who died for you. Do you even know who He is? We are always waiting for delivery yet we don’t even have a clue who is our deliverer.
Recently my friend and I were sharing our heart out, and one thing that was common for both of us was that our marriage was getting better each day. We realized this was so because we were having more time with the Lord, we were allowing our relationship with the Lord to get deeper and listening to His heart beat. There are things that we both could say was a challenge as young wives but now as we are dwelling in the Lord, His grace is evident each day.
I am not much of a cleaner, too be honest I place everything anywhere it can stand, that’s the total opposite of my husband. But as I learnt to organize my time with the Lord and purpose to have time with Him in my day, He is teaching me how to be in order and I am carrying that to my home.
God desires our heart even as I shared last in I am So Busy, The Lord Understands and there is no way I can claim to be spending all the time in the world with my husband if my time with God is always in a rush. So, If God is going to the centre of my marriage, then I should actually have Him first in my life.
When you allow God to teach you how to love Him, how to be in a relationship with Him, how to be patient with Him for the things you feel have not been answered, how to work on your insecurity and even your attitude then you will be able to handle whatever comes your way. Let God be the first priority in your life, give Him the first attention and you will be amazed how things you thought will never work for you fall into place. He is not needy He is loving and desiring your heart and all He is saying is ‘I know your heart desire even before you say it so know me and allow me to teach you to walk in the purpose I have for you.’
I remember what my husband shared with me while we were still dating that was key to me even as I desired a husband who will be a priest at our home. He said this;
“Please love God and have a strong relationship with Him more than you have with me and let Him come first in your life then all things shall fall into place“
Now as I remember these words I realise that unless we are where God want us to be with Him, all that we do even if they look like they are working well, blossoming and getting better, they will all pass away, others will hurt you, other will disappoint you but if you are grounded in the Lord and do all things as unto the Lord you will stand despite winds and the storms.
John 15:1-2 talks about being pruned to bear much fruit, in moments when you get a reality check and you feel indeed you are not bearing much of fruits in your marriage or relationship or even at w
ork I pray you allow God to do His work. The blossoming of a marriage is not dependent on your good deeds, people say ‘you make it work’ which is true but through Christ. You allow God to take His right place and bring you to where He wants.
I pray that you will be drawn to Him even as you do all things as unto the Lord.
With Deepest Love