His Grace

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I have been away for a long time, for a moment I couldn’t remember how to write a post on blogspot or even to publish it. But I am glad to be back, back from my procrastination and laziness. Has it been worth it……I wish I could say yes. However, my time away has been a mixture of different seasons.

First, my family increased by one (a son was born) and it has been the most amazing, awesome, joyful moment of my life. He is the most energetic boy I have ever seen and I am so thankful for him. For the Lord to trust us to raise him in His ways is one responsibility that I take as a great honor.

Secondly, we are weeks away from a new addition to the family, and this has been a true mixture of emotions unlike my first pregnancy this has been so different. The kind of different that I don’t know how to explain other than if it wasn’t for the Lord, I don’t know if I would have made it this far.

Coming back to blogging and sharing my journey of grace I realise that the Lord is so graceful. I have been away for almost two years and some months and I am here writing as if it was just yesterday that I posted my last blog. He is patient with us that sometimes we don’t even see it, we live our life as if its normal to just wake up, eat and even sleep. However, I am learning that it’s not, I am learning that it’s the Lord in every second, minute and hour of our life.

We are living upon His grace, and because of that I pray that I will never forget that it’s not about my ability to write, to be a mother or to be a wife. But it’s about what He has given me in such a time as this. That I may be a witness to the end of the world.

I love my Lord, my God of second chances, never giving up on us. Always welcoming us back when we run away from Him. When we shut our ears from His voice and live our day as if it’s our right. May the Lord forgive me that I have been just that.

Happily I rejoice that I am the Lord’s and I know that I am alive because He is.

God Bless You all

The Walk of Faith

Courtesy of Google
I looked back and I had to ask myself if that was the right move. I remember calling her stupid, maybe it was her act that seemed so or it was her attitude. At that point a million thoughts run through my mind and calling her that seemed the right choice.
A few minutes later I wondered if it was worth it, did I have to do/say that? What did I really gain out of it? Because even after calling her that her face didn’t show any form of remorse. Then again I ask, was it her or me who needed to be remorseful.
Sometimes we find ourselves in situation that can cause us to get out of our Christian character. We start speaking words that are ungodly and that are hurtful, then I realized that David’s Words in Psalms 119:11; 
Thy word have I hid in mine heart, that I might not sin against thee,
was not to make us feel cooler than the rest but to constantly remind us that we need the Lord always and His word to guard us.
Did I come out victorious? Maybe I did, maybe realizing that I was wrong to call her that no matter how much my humanly heart felt she deserved it, makes it all worth it.
The most amazing part of it all is that I know that I need the Lord always in my walk. Now more than ever I believe grace and mercy from the Lord keeps me alive.

With Sincere Love
Betty Jacob. O

My Captain

Image result for ship and ferry about to crush
Picture from google

As I journey with Christ my heart is being drawn to His heart desires and needs. Most so often we don’t think much about God’s needs because we tend to think He has no needs at all. However for us to be alive this day, I believe there is something the Lord wants of us and that is where the Lord’s needs comes in. We always desire to live for God and we want to be used greatly but we prefer to have God listen to how we want to be used rather than how He desires to use us.

Recently as I was heading home; I use the Likoni ferry everyday to work and back, I witnessed a scene that made me realize how the Lord’s heart is upon His people. That even if it seems like things are all going wrong and sin is crowding the world and the church is being persecuted the Lord is still at watch.

The scene of a ship almost crashing into a ferry caused a lot of commotion, fear and question among passenger who were witnessing from a different ferry. As we watched in our safe point a lot was being said of the two captains more so the ferry captain. Everyone had an idea of what went wrong and who was on the wrong. But when the situation was brought to control, the story changed to what would have happened if the two captains were not able to control the situation.

I was looking at the same scene and each time I marveled at how good God is. That the life of those people was at the mercy of the two captains and one single mistake could have landed them into a mess and even much an accident. Yet I still thought of the mind of the ferry captain at the moment when he was doing all he knew best to bring the situation into control. What if he panicked and run off? What if he lost hope and saw death? What if he was not well aware of how to handle such situation?  And what if he allowed the voices of those people he was trying to save get into him?

Just like the ferry Captain, God is ferrying us across the sea and we have to understand that unless we trust Him, fear, panic and doubt will be what we carry with us as we live this life. We might not see it but He is watching and He is doing everything within His mighty power to bring control to all that is happening. It might seem like the church is facing a lot, it might look as the body of Christ is getting weaker and this generation might look unbearable, but the Captain; God, is in control.

These things I have spoken to you, that in Me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation; but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world
John 16:33

I speak out from a generation that is being taught, to be your own woman is cool and to have your own money earns you respect. I live in the generation that believes we have the power to teach men a lesson by cutting of their manhood because they are lazy. And it’s sad that this same generation cannot speak the truth without relating it to reality TV shows and not the word.

Our captain is in control, however, He desire our heart to be calm and to trust in His power. It might seem like it’s not working out, like we are about to be crashed down but as long as He lives we will face every persecution to victory.

I don’t know where our heart are, I don’t know if we are busy throwing words at the captain or maybe we are calling Him incapable and asking ‘If He is really there, then why…….?’. One thing I know about God is that He is true to His word, so don’t let the wickedness of men define the character of God.

Nothing that is happening is a surprise to God, if it’s the legalization of homosexuality Romans 1:24-27 speaks of it clearly. If it’s the persecution of the church Matthew 10:22 is very clear so keep the faith for salvation will be yours. If it’s killing of Christians John 16:1-4 share the truth about it, so be encouraged that none of these are happening without God Knowing.

Let us not get tired trusting Him even when it seems like we are about to be crushed into. May our heart remain faithful and hopeful that the Lord who begun the journey with us will take us safe across the sea.

The God of the sea, who caused flood in time of Noah, who divided the sea for the people of Israelites on their way to the promise land, who calmed the sea in the New Testament and who walked on water. If you don’t trust this God then allow me ask who are you trusting?

Joshua 24:15

And if it seems evil to you to serve the Lord, choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve, whether the gods which your fathers served that were on the other side of the River, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land you dwell. But as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.

With my deepest Love,
Mrs. Ouma

Marriage At Crossroads

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With the recent news hitting the airwaves of men being beaten severely and their manhood chopped off I am left to ask ‘What has gone wrong?’ I am one of those who never saw my mother and father fight, so there is little I can talk about a violent home. However, with these headlines I think we need to make some facts clear before we start the blame game.

When it comes to the issue of family I love to go back to God’s original Purpose of one and get to answer a few if not all, questions that rises in this area. What was God’s desire of the first family; Adam and Eve, and what were the things He wanted them to learn?

Genesis 2:18,
And the Lord God said, it is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him

Allow me to break it down to three areas that I have over the years understood to be fundamental in any marriage and even now that I am married I am upholding them as I journey.
  •  The Role

When God created Adam and Eve He did that with the desire that they would co-exist in harmony in achieving one purpose; God’s purpose. With the understanding of our different personalities He states the different roles in man and woman so that they not compete rather complement each other as one.

Genesis 2:24,
Therefore shall a man Leavehis father and mother, and shall Cleaveunto his wife: and they shall be One

 A man’s role
  •  Leader Gen 3:17, Eph 5:21-24, 1 Cor 11:3
  • The Provider  and The protector I Tim 5:8, Col 3:19, 1 Peter 3:2
  • Companion Eph 5:25-33, 1 Cor 7:2-5…………………..

The woman’s role

  • Submissive Eph 5        
  • Home maker Titus 2
  • Bearer and Nurture of life Genesis 3:16 & 20
  • Helper Genesis 2:18
  • To be respectful to the husband Eph 5……………..

These are but a few yet main roles that are not to be reversed in any way, when that happens the results are what we are seeing in our TV screens now. We are busy telling the next generation that they can be whatever they want yet they will end up exactly where we are now. As we grow into womanhood and as we are being prepared for marriage, its crucial to have the roles outlined. 

It’s sad to say that we have allowed our young men to grow thinking that they will get it when they marry. They are brought up in an environment where they don’t see their fathers or mentors being any of these, rather they see lazy men, drunkard and dictators at home.

Pointing fingers to the media will not solve the already trending issue unless we choose to go back to the root point where it all went wrong and we start picking out the things that needs to go and those that needs to be emphasized on.

‘Miss independent, I can do it on my own, I am my own man’ talk is the root cause of some of the problems we are facing. Something I realized recently is that as women we rely more on Feelings and reasons, while men are to Facts and basis. Our roles suites our general personality so well, so when we end up playing the role of a man which needs facts we fail.

It is not a sin to relay on your feelings, its just how we are wired, its our way of seeing things and God created us that way for a reason. Our roles and our personality works so well, so don’t believe this talk that you can be your own man, its not in you to be a man.

Read Genesis 3:6, you will see what follows when Eve took in the leadership role and Adam the role of submission.

I believe God has outlined our roles to us clearly and we ought to go back to what scriptures say and consider the things we are showing our kids and allowing them to learn. For any single man or woman I pray you get to understand that your role is not on what the society says; because we have followed that and now we see the results, but on what God says, read His word.

Our roles are equal in value and different in function.
  • The Foundation

Read Genesis 2:18 – 25

We learn that marriage was God’s original desire, so before we go any further we need to know that we are not the authors of marriages but God is. There is a way He intended it to be and we can still live under it if we choose to accept this fact.

Genesis 2:18 says ‘And the Lord God said, it is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him.’From this you need to understand that man was first alone and then God saw that it wasn’t
good, so He instituted the union, not your parents not some weird celebrity not your friends, no one but God.

I am a believer of a good marriage foundation, because it determines if you will be killing each other or helping each other as you work through your differences and weakness. 

A good house can be seen in its foundations, we are able to differentiate a house that we doubt will be able to stand the storm from the one we believe will make it past the storm just by looking at the foundation. The same is with marriage, you will tell how it will go by the foundations; what are the principles and values keeping it together? Who is guiding your marriage? Who are you seeking for help/advise?

One thing I told myself is that I won’t make my marriage be as per my parents’ standards but as per God’s standard. When God is the foundation then He is able to teach you guys how to be what He desires you to be in that home. I am not able to play all the roles God desires of me as a woman perfectly, to begin with I struggle in home making but because we have the Lord as our foundation I don’t see my husband beating me up because I am not perfect in that area.

There are things that are not automatic with my husband as well but I try as much as possible not to be him because I once tried that with our finances and I ended up allocating our money on things we wanted other than things we needed.

The foundation for every marriage is in God, the idea of marriage didn’t come from man but God. And I believe if this is made well understood then we will have less of the fighting and perverse acts we are seeing. The only thing that will determine whether you will make it or break each other’s bones is the foundation.

1 Corinthians 3:11’
For other foundation can no man lay than that is laid, which is Jesus Christ

You might have started off on the wrong truck but choose to allow Christ to rebuild your marriage and you will see how far your marriage will go. Seek God the author and initiator of marriage not your ancestral teachings.
  • The Choice

I have shared on this topic here, not long ago and I will say it again the choices we make can destroy or build. You are who you are because of some choices you have made and I believe it also applies in getting a wife or a husband. God has given us the free will to choose whom we want to marry and no one drags anyone to marry someone they don’t want to.

In history I only know of one man who God choose for him a wife, Hosea, and this was to make an illustration to the people of Israel. So let us please stop thinking we should blame someone for the husband we are married to or the wives we have.

I despise the talk that ‘men from our county are lazy’, please!!! I know men, I have seen men who come from these claimed counties and they are neither drunkards nor lazy. They are well behaved, grounded and working hard to put food on the table for their family.

So before you speak doom, kindly recount your words and consider that it might just be the man you choose. If he is a drunkard please don’t think you will marry him and change him, if he sleeps all day dreaming about things he is not making any action/effort to achieve don’t think once you marry him you will boost his morale.

He is sleeping with you and he hasn’t even placed a marriage ring on your figure, he has made you so cheap. Truth is, we both know you are cheating on God. So don’t be shocked when he is unfaithful to you, because if you both can cheat on God what of each other?

The Bible says in Mathew 7:20,
‘Wherefore by their fruits ye shall know them’ and I believe this is true, never sit there and believe you are marrying an angel. If you are dating someone who is all good, never angry, never disagreeing with you, always doing what you what, everything is yes and yes, he/she is playing you; flee as fast as you can.

Your marriage will be greatly affected by the man/woman you marry, never think or believe you can change someone only God changes people. 

All we can do once we are married as Apostle Paul says in 1 Peter 3:1-2, to wives, is to be subject to our husband that if they don’t obey the word; not born again, they may be changed by our character and conversation. 

It doesn’t say we change them by telling them what to do or what not to do but it says, its through your character and conversation they might be changed. That why as I share here, it is important to marry a godly man, one whose first priority is Christ. I believe its not easy to submit to a man who doesn’t love Christ because how then will he love you as Christ loves the church; unconditionally, if he himself doesn’t know Christ.

The change begins in making the right choice, understanding our roles in the family and building our marriages on godly foundations then we will start hearing less of what we have going on.

What will we do concerning our marriages? Even to those who desire a marriage what are the things you are going to carry into your marriage? Good marriage begins in godly choices and godly walk.

Will You Be Ready or Not?

I am amazed by how much the society influences us every day, we are more inclined to words than fact and we don’t even know what the truth is. Or is it that we have refused to believe what is true because we haven’t searched for the truth, the word.

As I was reflecting through scriptures, the Lord ministered to me some key facts that go beyond words.

  • We are a generation that is neither bothered nor interested in Christ coming back.
  • We are lamps yet we produce no light because we have no fuel
  • ‘Assuredly I say to you, I do not know you‘, these words will be so real to some of us

Mathew 25:1-13, talks about the parable of the ten virgins and most of the time I consider myself to be the five wise ones. Who on earth sees themselves as the foolish ones really?! These ladies never got to see the bridegroom after a long day wait and for one foolish mistake; they did not fill their lamps with oil.

We are a generation that is neither bothered nor interested in Christ coming back. This right here is fact, we are not ready for Christ coming back and we think He will wait for us to be ready to come back. It has been spoken that Christ is coming back soon, and just like the five foolish virgins we have done nothing for His coming.

We tell ourselves that we will see it, so there is no need to worry. These virgins assumed that it was going to be during the day, and when the bridegroom came at night they were found unaware, are we going to be found unaware? Is it going to be our humanly timing in relation to God’s perfect time?

It is disturbing to me that our generation live their life 1. Not caring who Christ is 2. Not thinking about their life after death 3. We assume that we have our life plan sorted.

2 Peter 3:10-13, truth, all these shall pass away, your worldly possession will all be gone but His coming will be so real like nothing ever felt. You might think it doesn’t concern you because it has been said for years and He is not yet here. The truth is it is now much nearer than it was in the beginning of the year 2000.

You might assume that you are safe because you don’t believe in the ‘Jesus Stuff’, sad that you think so about yourself because the truth is you are neither the wise nor the foolish. You have no existence in this life and even in the life to come.

This is not to scare, but to let you know that His second coming is so real and whether you are interest or not He is still coming.

We are lamps yet we produce no light because we have no fuel. I have learnt that I can’t make it in this world on my own understanding, so I keep searching for truth, strength and hope in the words.

Does the world see you as the lamp that is producing light? Mathew 5:14-16, is so clear that we are the light of the world; we are a city set on the hill that can’t be hidden. Through your light the world will see good works and glorify the Father who is in heaven. 
How often do we know this? Are we aware that the fuelling of our lamp is in the word? I believe that we are not in the world in such a time as this to be lamps that produces sooth. With all the recent persecution on the body of Christ we need to be filled and ready to produce much light for the darkened world. 
But how can we be that light really? If the word to us is so boring, we value self help books more than scriptures, we are willing to read peoples ideologies and not what your creator says in His word. How is the lamp going to be filled? When we don’t purpose in us to know what the Lord desires for us.  
No wonder we are afraid, no wonder we are enslaved to sin, we have allowed our lamps to run dry that we only produce chocking sooth. Our words are filthy and they destroy instead of building, we seemed to have made an alliance with the devil.
Till when will we do that? Christ is coming, and all He wants is to find lamps that are up and filled, lamps that have been ready waiting, eager for the presence of the long awaited second coming. Sad that we don’t think of this, it’s amazing what we feed our self with pure lies and deception. The day is coming when we will cry and beg for exception yet we are now busy excluding Him from our life.
‘Assuredly I say to you, I do not know you’, these words will be so real to some of us
After all is said and done the day of the Lord shall come, how I pray that these words won’t be heard by any of us.
The bible says that these ladies went to refill their lamps because they were found unaware and when they came back they started to knock on the door calling ‘Lord, Lord Open for us’. May we not be left on the other side of the heaven’s gate because our lamps were not filled or we were not even aware that He is coming back?
Just like the recent Don and Lenny’s concert that we had waited for one whole month with anticipation may it be so to with Christ. The same way we kept time to attend the concert and never wanted to miss any of his songs as he sung live may it be so too with us, that the bridegroom will arrive and the party will begin with us present. 
Let us purpose to have our tickets ready for the grand concert, that none of us will be rushing from one shop to another looking for tickets only to be told they are sold out.  
Sorry the Father, Son and the Holy Spirit do not know you, as unreal as it might be for some of us, this right here are facts. Some will hear these words loud and clear. Its up to you to decide, will you be ready or not? 
Joshua 24:15, I am still saying this to the end ‘….as for me and my house we will serve the Lord’.
With Deepest Love,
Mrs. Ouma

‘How Do I Know He Is…..’

Image result for how do i know he's the one

‘How do you now he is the one? Was your husband all you wanted in a man?’ one of my lady friend asked me this some time back. 

Even as I responded I was made to ponder on the values we have allowed to be instilled in us. We live in a society that has taught us ways that seems good to men and not to God. Moral values are broken and even them that have them many are not strong in upholding it. That is why we ladies struggle and move from one relationship to another because we follow the society’s up bringing than the Lord’s.
I am not the kind to accept less that I will admit, for me I think I would rather not have it, than get something that is not of worth. I grew up belittling myself because of my past, yet when I came to Christ and understood my true worth there were things I told myself I wouldn’t chew even as prayed for a husband. 

I wasn’t ready to date any man who didn’t know what he wanted; no vision, no purpose no nothing. I wasn’t going to settle for the lustful man who looked at me and any other lady that passed with one agenda. I wasn’t going to be with a man who made me feel like I needed him more than I need God. I was not ready for try out considering my past try out that ended in tears. If he was not my husband no matter how much he desired for it I wasn’t going to lose my purity to the one who would not be my husband; I made a promise to keep my purity in check till marriage. I was not willing to feel guilty for standing for what I believed in to what he wanted.
I believe every woman wants the best however we need to stop being dragged down the road of brokenness because we run our life with feelings and not scriptures. I remember being in relationships because I felt I needed a man figure in my life since I never had one, so I settle for what they could give. I was with this guy who cheated on me to the point of having a child and despite knowing this I didn’t want to let go. This one time I went to patch things up because I still wanted to cling unto him even after knowing what he did. I recall him chasing me out of their home and asking me never to go back because we were done. I was broken that day, here I was willing to accept his betrayal and what did he do, chase me out. However I am glad for I have an understanding that it wasn’t what the Lord wanted of me. To me it was what I wanted but to God was about what I needed in a man.
I know there are a lot of us who share the same story or even deeper, nevertheless I believe in the powerful love of God and His desire for each of us as women. We need to purpose each day to dwell in the Lord for understanding of who we are and what He wants of us.
So how do you know he is a man to submit to? Today allow me to share three things that I believe every woman needs to look into as you journey from friendship to courtship and to marriage.
  • He loves the Lord 
Let me first clear the air for us, when I talk about him loving the Lord I don’t mean how many times he goes to church. I have had Ladies tell me they have met a godly man, which is good, we need a godly men who will be a priest to your home. The question I usually ask is,What is it about him that makes you think he is God fearing?the response I get if not always ‘He goes to church, I have had him praying…..’ I will be point blank for us, just because he prays before you eat on dates or he goes to church doesn’t mean he loves the Lord.
Jesus in John 21:15-17 asks Peter three time ‘Simon Son of Jonah, Do you love me?’ and each time he replies ‘Yes Lord you know that I love you’ and each time he replies Jesus asks him to do something; 
  1. Feed my Lamb
  2. Tend my Sheep
  3. Feed my Sheep
Even as he claims His love for God, is he just the normal church going man or is he the man with a heart for God. Loving the Lord goes deeper that self, the Bible says in 1 Corinthians 13:4 that Love does not seeks its own, so is he seeking the Lord in his love for Him. Is he out feeding the lamb, tending to the sheep and feeding them? 
One thing that made me sure my fiancé loved the Lord was his desire to know about my relationship with the Lord even as I share in
Why I am Choosing God First (Part 1).
He could constantly ask about my devotional, prayer and even fasting. I was constantly being feed, tended to as the lamb and even as the sheep. 
So if I may ask ‘What is it about him that makes you think he loves the Lord?’ 
  • His Vision for life
As I have just shared, I don’t like settling for less and so was my choice for a man. I didn’t want a man who didn’t understand where he was headed. You just know he is doing something and you are not sure what, the one whom someone would ask you what he does and all you got is ‘Biashara hapa na pale’. 
I believe every man should have a vision, because as a help mate its very crucial to know what authority you are going under. Whenever I share about relationship I am always key in asking ‘What is the man’s visions and goals’ a times I hear ladies say ‘He is still in college or he just started working (or business) so I am giving him time’. To me whether he is working or not he ought to have an idea where he is headed.
A man with vision will give you a clear view whether he is the one you want to spend your entire life with or not. I remember one time we were having lunch with my husband by then still friends and I asked him his vision and he ended up showing me his well written vision and goals. For me I had to know because what if this man wanted to travel the whole world and maybe for me I wanted a homely man who doesn’t travel that much. What if he sees himself entering full time mission work and maybe for me I wanted a man who would start up a family business and build a legacy in that direct. I had to know where he was taking me and so as I read all that he had written down I had the choice to say ‘Yes I will follow you or nope I don’t think I want that of a man’.
In Genesis 2:18 the Lord created Eve as a help mate to the man, in my few months of marriage I have learnt that being a help mate can be hard if you don’t appreciate the man’s vision. Because his call for you as a help mate is not on what you want or when you want to help but when he needs it. So what happens when he needs your help in the vision that you never really liked or one that you never really new existed because you never even asked.
  • His Values and Character
My husband is a very relational man; to him relationship is important, so when I accepted his proposal to courtship I knew that he valued the people in his life. He loved the young people and through that I could tell what kind of a man he was, he was transparent always willing to share his past if it can encourage one or two. He respected women, this I knew by how he talked to women, I don’t think I have ever seen my husband flirting with a woman even while we were still friends, he would comment how good you look but never went past that, and to me that meant a lot.
What does he speaks about in a group or even when it’s just the two of you? Mathew 12:34 speaks about what we speak and how it’s all from the heart. You have to be able to listen to how he speaks to people, what he speaks about because out of it you will get to know his heart. I think this is pretty important for every relationship.
I shared my desired to stay pure till marriage and not even ones did he says otherwise or pressure me, he respected my desire because he understood what I valued. 
Ladies we need to have values that won’t be shaken, because even as I share this I know there are those among us who don’t even have values yet we want a man of value. What is it about you that is virtuous, are you a woman of good character yourself, I will be honest with you if you are not sure of who you are be ready to accept what you ought not to get.
I believe there are many things to consider however to me these are of important even as we ask the question ‘Is he the one?’
With Deepest Love,
Mrs. Ouma
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